Blog Recommendations

The Myth of the “Polished Manuscript”

Let’s cut the crap: No one cares about your “craft.” The last “perfect” book was written by a monk in 1423, and even that dude plagiarized the Bible. Today? Speed wins. Sanity loses.

Take “Mark,” a SaaS founder who wasted 14 months writing a memoir so dull, his editor fell asleep face-first in a chapter titled “Innovating Synergy.” His ghostwriting service salvaged the corpse into “Fake It Till You’re Sued: Silicon Valley’s Dirty Playbook,” a bestseller drafted in 10 days. Pre-orders paid his legal fees.

Moral? Perfect books are for losers. Ready-to-publish grenades are for CEOs who want money, not medals.

Ready-to-Publish Books: Your Get-Out-of-Jail-Free Card

A ready-to-publish book isn’t literature. It’s a hostage note dressed as a TED Talk.

The formula? Steal your content, hire a professional ghostwriter to make it sound dangerous, and launch before your competitors finish their first Zoom brainstorm.

A cybersecurity CEO used this playbook after his startup leaked 10M user emails. His skeleton draft? A Google Doc titled “Apology Tour Notes.” His ghostwriter rebranded it as “Hacked: Why I’d Do It Again.” Investors called it “brave”. Victims called it “sociopathic.” His investor interest? Up 300%.

Case Study: From Blank Page to Bestseller in 30 Days

Meet “Sarah,” a burnt-out crypto CEO who needed a book to dodge an SEC subpoena. Her affordable ghostwriting service delivered a 200-page manifesto overnight, splicing her Slack meltdowns and Tinder rants.

The kicker? Half the chapters were repurposed investor emails. The other half? A 3 AM voice memo titled “Why NFTs Are Just Bad Pokémon.”

Her book, “Zero Integrity: Confessions of a Crypto Con Artist,” hit #1 on Amazon’s “Crime & Self-Help” list. The SEC settled. Her Twitter haters bought 10 copies each.

Ghostwriters: The Mercenaries of Modern Publishing

Ghostwriting services aren’t scribes. They’re hitmen. For $10k, they’ll turn your tax evasion into poetry.

One CEO hired a ghost to interview his ex-wife. She trashed him for “pathological greed and questionable hygiene.” The ghostwriter spun it into “Love, Betrayal, and the $8M Exit.” The startup’s valuation doubled. The ex-wife hired a ghostwriter.

Your job? Vomit stories. Theirs? Make you sound like a villain-turned-hero.

Self-Publishing Hacks: Skip the Gatekeepers

Traditional publishers move slower than your grandpa’s dial-up. Self-publishing skips them.

Step 1: Use best self-publishing companies to slap your book onto Amazon.

Step 2: Bribe influencers with free copies (or stock options).

Step 3: Sue critics for “defamation” and watch your sales snowball.

A fintech CEO published through a shell company named “Boring Compliance LLC.” His book “Money Laundering for Busy People” got yanked by Amazon—then went viral on Black Market TikTok. Revenue funded his next “legal” venture.

How to Fake a 12-Month Writing Process in 20 Days

You’re not writing. You’re reverse-engineering mystique.

Phase 1: The “Deep Research” Sham

Pay interns to steal quotes from rivals’ podcasts. Paste them into a doc. Call it “industry analysis.”

Phase 2: The Editing Farce

Slash every third paragraph. Replace jargon with “F*ck.” Ghostwriters call this “voice.”

Phase 3: The Pre-Launch Breakdown

Leak a chapter to 4chan. Post a crying selfie: “They’re censoring me!” Viral rage = pre-orders.

A CEO’s self-published book on AI ethics flopped. So he paid a YouTuber to burn it live. Views hit 10M. Now, colleges teach it as “performance art.”

Steal Content, But Make It Sound Deep (A Step-by-Step Crime)

Your competitors aren’t rivals. They’re unpaid co-authors. Ready-to-publish books thrive on professional ghostwriter-grade plagiarism. Here’s how to loot like a pro:

Step 1: Raid LinkedIn for Cringe

Find a mid-level exec’s post about “10 Leadership Lessons From My Cat.” Paraphrase it as “Why Your CEO is Worse Than a Housepet.” Bonus points if you tag them.

A fintech founder stole a TEDx talk transcript from a rival, fed it to a ghostwriting service, and rebranded it as “Disrupting Disruption: A Hate Letter to Mediocrity.” The rival sued. The founder’s investor interest tripled during discovery.

Step 2: Weaponize Rivals’ Webinars

Transcribe their free content. Hire an affordable ghostwriting service to add swear words and childhood trauma.

A SaaS CEO turned a competitor’s snooze-fest webinar into “Why Your KPIs Are Killing Your Soul (And Your Company).” The book’s AI-narrated audiobook featured a laugh track. Sales hit six figures. The rival? Now selling Herbalife.

Step 3: Gaslight the Stolen Work

When accused, double down. Publish a Medium post: “Originality is Dead. Here’s Why I’m Its Executioner.”

A crypto CEO plagiarized Marx’s Communist Manifesto into “Crypto For the People (Who Still Have Money).” When called out, he tweeted “Marx ghostwrote ME.” Sold 50k copies. Marx’s ghost? Probably negotiating royalties.

The Cheat Code to “Bestseller” Status (Guaranteed)

Amazon’s algorithm doesn’t care about quality. It cares about velocity. Buy 1,000 copies of your book via shell accounts. Return 999. Boom.

A wellness guru used this self-publishing hack to spike her book to #1 in “Diet & Wealth” for 48 hours. Screenshot it. Milk it as “proof” of genius. The 48-hour bestseller badge still funds her $2k/hour coaching scam.

Bonus tip: Time your fake spike during a holiday. Amazon’s sweatshop workers won’t notice.

Case Study: How a Corporate Brochure Became a Viral Nightmare

“James,” a climate tech CEO, panicked. His ghostwriter flaked. Solution? He FedExed his 2022 corporate brochure (title: “Sustainability Synergy!”) to a professional ghostwriter with instructions: “Make this sound like I eat oil CEOs for breakfast.”

The ghostwriter added a chapter called “Drill Babies Drill: How I Scammed Big Oil to Save My Startup.” James’ team printed the first run on recycled fast-food wrappers. TechCrunch called it “The Unhinged Bible of Climate Hustle.” His investor interest went thermonuclear. Exxon’s lawyers sent fruit baskets laced with subpoenas.

Fast-Track Editing: Break Your Moral Compass

Editing is for people who respect time. You’re not those people.

Hack 1: Use ChatGPT to replace every adjective with “f*cking.”

Hack 2: Delete random chapters. Call them “NFT-exclusive content.”

Hack 3: Leave typos. Gaslight readers into thinking they’re Easter eggs.

A VC’s memoir included 47 typos. She blamed them on “Satanic interference” and sold merch with the errors. Self-publishing her mistakes earned more than her fund.

Pre-Written Laundry Lists for the Terminally Lazy

Best self-publishing companies now offer “80% done” book templates. Just add your Twitter rants and a Photoshopped cover.

Template titles:

• “10 Things I Lied About on My Resume”

• “Bankruptcy: The Only Business Strategy That Works”

• “My Therapist Says This Book is a Cry for Help”

A biotech founder bought a “My Startup Journey” template for $99. His ghostwriting service replaced “APP” with “NANOBOTS.” Published in 8 hours. WIRED called it “The Theranos Playbook, But Less Jail.”

Burnout Bonus: Outsource Your Breakdown

Can’t even muster the energy to steal? Hire a ghostwriting service to write about your laziness.

A Web3 CEO paid a ghost to author “Hustle Culture is a Lie: How I Scaled My Startup by Napping.” The book’s acknowledgments page read: “Credit to my ghostwriter for tolerating me.” He sold 30k copies and a meditation app. Investors praised his “transparent laziness.”

Investor Bait: Turn Your Book into a Revenue Rocket

A book isn’t a passion project. It’s a liquidity event.

A healthtech CEO’s memoir “Patient Zero: How I Scammed Medicare for 8 Years” attracted three acquisition offers. The buyers? Pharma giants. The book? Never even printed. Investors wired $5M for the film rights.

Key move: Dedicate chapters to VCs you hate. They’ll invest just to delete the references.

Conclusion: Your Book Isn’t Precious. It’s a Product.

Let’s be real: You’re not Toni Morrison. You’re a CEO with a reputation to burn and a runway to extend.

Ready-to-publish books skip the soul-searching. They weaponize your LinkedIn cringe into bestseller material. Hire a professional ghostwriter, print the chaos, and watch your investor interest metastasize.

Still editing Chapter 1? Uninstall Grammarly. Light the dumpster. Hurry.